TEA FOR TWO...OR MANY MORE   (back)

A tea party is a familiar ritual.  One that opens the door to interaction and conversation.  It is astonishing to see people with dementia rise to this special occasion.

After hosting dozens of these delightful events, we'd like to share a few lessons we have learned along the way. Hopefully these tips will serve useful as a host or hostess...

Set the Scene

• Contrasting color - If the dishes are light in color, a dark colored tablecloth is a good idea. Stark contrast of objects helps elders visually and physically when they reach for a cup or plate.

• Dishware -Actual glass or porcelain pieces rather then plastic or paper seem to evoke more emotions for elders. Consider generational pieces like Depression Glass or imitation Blue Willow porcelain. Our favorite settings are the ones with varying patterns on the cups and saucers. Each piece does not need to match. In fact, mismatched pieces often encourage comparisons of design and conversation. Search garage sales or thrift stores…ask for donations from within the community. But, keep all the pieces onsite and accessible for future gatherings.

• Flowers - Choose fragrant fresh flowers such as roses or lilacs to add to the setting. This will stimulate elders' sense of smell and encourage reminiscing.

• Table Setting - Lace tablecloths are a big hit. Cloth napkins rather than paper is a subtle but important choice. Consider the possibilities additional touches like silverware, sugar tongs for sugar cubes, creamers, sandwich tiers, or candles (real, electric or battery powered), as well.

• Guests - Invite family, friends and staff! The more the merrier. It's a wonderful setting to build relationships and make connections.

• Frequency - Once supplies are gathered, orchestrating the event is simple. In some homes, afternoon tea is a daily event. In other cases, the goal is an afternoon tea party every Wednesday for an hour and a half. Find out what works best for your group and make tea parties a regular part of the schedule. 

• Treats - Obviously, sweets are a favorite…particularly cookies or individual chocolates like Russell Stover's. For those not familiar with this brand of chocolates, a box of Russell Stover's offers a variety of chocolates with each sitting in its own crinkly paper wrapper. There are many brands of chocolates presented this way, and they all evoke memories. We have watched as elders carefully study each piece to make sure they don't end up with one of the “yucky” ones. You might also consider cheese squares, crackers, turkey, ham, strawberries, blackberries, apple slices, etc. Finger food adds to the fun!

• Beverages - To accommodate those with preferences, prepare tea, coffee and hot chocolate. Options empower elders to make choices.

• Get Creative - Enhance the gathering with extras. Play music in the background like upbeat classics such as Stardust or Tea for Two. Initiate a sing-a-long or invite elders to read their favorite poem aloud. We've even passed around striking red hats for some "dress-up" fun! Costuming can take it to a whole other level, of course.

Involve your team

Brainstorm with your team on the possibilities while keeping in mind the goal of engaging as many of the five senses as possible (sight, sound, smell, taste and touch). This one activity has the potential to activate all of these avenues…to reminisce and enjoy.

Every minute spent setting the scene will be well worth it once the event begins.  There is great return on invested time.

Tea parties:

• Encourage “company” behavior and social graces

• Provide an opportunity to slow down and “be in the moment”

• Calm the environment

• Provide a sense of dignity and familiarity

• Increase calorie intake

• Build relationships among elders, staff and family

• Create a sense of community (togetherness)

• Encourage participation and inclusion… “I belong here. I'm one of the gang.”

• Create a way for elders to contribute (by passing out napkins, serving snacks, or helping with clean-up)

• Provide opportunities for storytelling

• Promote conversation

Folks will not only savor the food…they will savor the moment.