ANGIE SUNDELL (SALINA KS, INT MED OFFICE, 01-04-2012 09:22:09)

A number of months ago one of our longtime patients was in for a routine appointment. This patient had been declinining in the past few years and recently went into a more controlled setting due to alzheimers. As she was leaving she informed me that I was her favorite nurse of all time. As she went out the door she told her sister-I don't know who in the world that lady was but she looked nice....

Jen Carney (Parkview Manor- Wellman, IA, 01-03-2012 11:33:20)

I have many great moments to share, as I'm a Memory Care Coordinator, whose lucky to work with dementia residents everyday. Their is one memory that sticks out, and makes me laugh just thinking bout it. We had a new restaurant come to our area, and some of the residents wanted to go eat their. So I set it up for us to take them their for supper, as their are not open for lunch. We have a large campus where I work consisting of Assisted Living, Skilled Nursing Home, and Memory Care Unit. Residents from all these levels of care went on this outing. We had two female dementia residents start bickering with one another and had to be separated, which left one of them rather upset for the evening. Later, a male resident from the assisted living was looking around for something, when staff noticed and asked "What you looking for?" He responded "My glasses". Staff noticed the upset female dementia resident was wearing these large dark framed mans glasses. She explained to him who had them and we would get them back in a little while, as she was upset right now. He understood and went on eating. Later, his dessert of ice cream arrived and he began looking around again. Staff asked what he was looking for now, he responded "My spoon". Staff looked and he saw the female dementia resident with his silverware, the resident also saw this. He said with a chuckle "She is robbing me blind". Everyone began to laugh with with him.

Jayne Sneed (Richmond, Virginia, 01-03-2012 10:58:44)

During the week before Christmas I was blessed to lead a carol sing at the adult day care center that my Mom attended prior to her death. The group was pretty subdued when I arrived and started handing out carol books. It was interesting to see how a particular carol would bring back a memory and caused nearly every participant at the center to start singing along. Guess it was just a matter of getting to everyone's favorite. One of the ladies who seemed to not be very interested in singing still would not give up her carol book when one of the CNAs tried to take it away from her when it was time to take the lady to the rest room! She returned and later sang every word of "White Christmas" even though she never opened her book back up. They wanted to sing "Joy to The World" about four times. It truly did bring me joy in hearing these dear folks sing. It was the best part of my Christmas. Best wishes, Rachel, with the new baby. I will always remember how much you and your Mom's information and activities shared at the dementia conference here helped me with caring for my Mom. God bless you all in 2012 which certainly will be a very happy new year for your family.

JoAnn (Springfield, 01-02-2012 14:12:55)

I attended one of your seminars in the fall, excellent information. Very helpful.

Elizabeth Myers (Independence, Virginia, 12-28-2011 14:33:41)

Several weeks ago, I was sitting with one of my little residents (85+ years old) as she was eating a piece of cake from our Christmas party. She said to me “You’re sweet.” I said “Thank you, I think you are too.” She looked at me with such intensity in her eyes and said “You know, as I get old, I don’t see people’s faces anymore. I see their personality and the love in their hearts. I really do.” As an activity director, I do not often experience these “moments of joy” but when I do, they amaze and humble me. I truly felt like I was being spoken to from above. These treasured moments are a gift from the Lord and a true taste of heaven. Our residents have so very much to teach us about the true meaning of life…

Carey (The Arbors at Silver Cree, 12-28-2011 10:02:14)

My birthday was in late November. On this day, my co-workers had gotten me a cake. I decided to share this cake with all the residents here. At the time, that the cake was cut, the residents burst into singing "Happy Birthday". About thirty seconds later, someone asked "Whose birthday is it anyway"? A staff member stated that it was mine. They, then, stated that we needed to sing Happy Birthday. Again, the residents sang a joyful filled happy birthday. About a minute later, this question of whose birthday was it, arose again. And again, Happy Birthday was sung. The song ended up being sung six times. This was the most wonderful birthday with lots of laughter and singing. I love working with these wonderful people and will never forget the giving spirits of these individuals.

Dee Kreger (Minneola Long Term Care, 12-27-2011 13:02:11)

In the spirit of the "Season" and then add all year long. A resident called to me as I passed, in a bustle. My mind wanted to carry on with the task at hand. The heart, however, was not in agreement, as it seldom is, thank heaven. I took her hand and she feebly took it to her chest and said, "It feels so wonderful to have someone touch me. I nearly crumbled in thankfulness that I didn't walk on by. So often the "Father" stops me in my tracks, but for "His" grace and my gift to hear "Him", "He" is the grandest of leaders...

Barbara Clayton (Magnolia Square, 12-27-2011 11:54:34)

A lady was wheeling by my office the other day and asked me if she could go outside. She said that someone had told her that I was the boss and she would need to ask me. I answered the usual way by saying that it was really cold outside and she would probably need a jacket or someone to go with her. I let her know that lunch would be soon and maybe she could head toward the dining room for coffee. She replied that she would be alright by herself and that she didn't feel that it was too cold. I told her that I would check into it if she would give me a minute. She wheeled on down the hall and never returned so I assumed that the her quest was over. Later she came back up the hall and stopped by my door then repeated to me that she would like to go outside. I told her that once again I really felt like it was too cold outside. She turned in her chair to go and as she left my office, under her breath she said, "I would lock that lady in her office but there is a phone in there so it probably wouldn't do me any good anyway!" I laughed so hard on that one and still chuckle when I think about it. They way understand more that we think that they do! She went on down the hall with her mission in mind but never came back up to ask me permission to go outside again.

Sadie (Indiana, 12-27-2011 09:21:54)

I work on a Memory Care Unit and I guess I'd have to place at the top a recent "success" with a resident who was "agitated" by her spouse whom she didn't recognize. The spouse was devastated because they have been married for 62 years! He would try various unsuccessful ways to in convinces her "I'm Your Husband!" While well intended this was not working and only pushing his wife into further rejection of him to the point I was forced to have him be under supervised visitation only and worked many hours in offering him proper ways to engage with her for meaningful quality visits. First and foremost was for him to NOT say I'm your husband and just to come enjoy sitting with her during a game or a music event. He struggled with much of this but trudged along and even sent her flowers that said "from a friend". While there's way too much to offer to the ups and downs of this situation I'm extremely happy to announce that just prior to Christmas I was reviewing the positive change in her reactions to his visits. I took him aside and told him things were going so well that I'd allow him to come visit whenever he wanted keeping in mind all he'd done to improve his communication with her and to continue this fashion. He's eyes glistened as he held back the tears but not mine! I was so elated to witness a moment of joy in this family’s life in amidst all that's been taken from them. A beautiful outcome thanks be to God!

Amy (Cape Girardeau, 12-27-2011 08:18:50)

I was on our SCU along with a staff member dressed as the Thanksgiving Turkey and one of our friends said "Look, there's two turkeys and only 1 costume." It was so wonderful, we all laughed and had a wonderful time.

Valda Garber-Weider (Harrisonburg, VA, 12-27-2011 07:44:19)

As the daughter of a mother who lived with end stage Alzheimer's disease for several years (not communicating verbally, nor interacting with family), I thought it would be a hallelujah moment when my mother entered into God's presence since she would be released from a body that no longer worked well for a woman who had been so animated, enjoyed every interaction with others and "never met a stranger". I was surprised to experience a feeling that my heart had been torn from me. I have learned that even though I had said "goodbye" to the mother that raised me, I needed to say "goodbye" to the person that I cared for as primary caregiver for 5 years. This lesson will help me professionally as I work with family members who are walking the same journey.

Wilson Meredith (Scotland, 12-27-2011 03:46:45)

Christmas day 2011.

After having a wonderful Christmas Dinner here in Cumnor Hall, we always have a sing song, dividing the residents families and staff into 3 groups in all there was 36 of us. This year was particularly moving as I was able to observe the residents join in the singing, most are not able to converse fully and yet I could see each person singing or mouthing the words of Christmas songs, Scottish songs and Irish songs, we even had ahusband of a resident sing to us in Welsh. This time only lasted a brief 20-25 minutes but as one of our vistors from America announced it was a very special 20 -25 minutes.

Tamara (Indiana, 12-26-2011 16:24:02)

I help others communicate,and specialize in what the world calls (challenging behaviors) I was hired by a Doctor,to work with her Mother and health care staff as she was becoming violent. The first thing I taught was I don`t believe there are challenging behaviors I believe its a failure to communicate. In just a few short months this women has gone from screaming biting spitting at her nurses to talking playing games and going for walks,The staff now understand that all of the out bursts were simply an attempt at communication and aggravation of not being understood. The family now take more time in understanding the words that don`t always make since and are thrilled to still have her at home,and the woman is much happier that she feels more understood.

Rachel and Mary (Kansas City, MO, 12-26-2011 14:27:51)

To read about the DVD in question (Family Cares) click here!!

Rachel and Mary (Kansas City, MO, 12-26-2011 14:21:00)

POST TO WIN!

It's that time of year again...

Answer the following question on this bulletin board and your name will automatically be entered to win a copy of our newest DVD, Family Cares: Answers for Loved Ones Affected by Dementia and a set of Bean Bags!

What is your favorite, most uplifting story from 2011 relating to your work or interactions with someone who has dementia?

This drawing is limited to one entry per person...though multiple people from the same organization are welcome to submit. You have from now until Friday, January 6th at 9am (central standard time) to post your story. That morning we will draw the winner and ship the prize.

We look forward to reading your stories!

Rachel and Mary

Jean Bohall (Stuart, Iowa, 12-23-2010 10:31:43)

I want to say that I think of you guys and what you did for your mother/grandma.I find it really remarkable. I find that our family (residents) at the Evergreen enjoy the see kids. Most the ladies in our unit know me as Jorden's mom, because they love this 7 year old boy who will hold their hand if they get blood drawn to it is okay for them to fell sad. His favorite place to be it their with them.

Diana Dijak (Greenfield, IN, 12-22-2010 13:47:09)

My husband still has one foot in the moderate category but is mostly in the severe. His ability to speak in sentences was one of the first things he lost. Now, at this holiday time, we play Christmas music almost continuously. He often 'sings' along though not in a way we can understand the words or music. His favorite is 'O Holy Night'. Each time he hears it he struggles to sing both the words and music. By the end of the song, often after hitting the high note, he is crying.

I enjoyed the conference in Indy and was inspired to make his life as enjoyable as possible. Many of your suggestions and songs like 'O Holy Night' have given us both a blessed Christmas.

Rachel and Mary (Kansas City, MO, 12-22-2010 10:47:39)

As a quick side note to what we just posted, please continue to share stories on the Bulletin Board throughout the year! Special moments, ideas, tips, recommended reading, anything at all that could be helpful to others!

If you want to be included the next time we offer a POST TO WIN! make sure you have signed up for our e-mail updates on the HOME tab to the left.

Also, keep in mind that the winner of these friendly drawings is based on a random selection process (your name is entered into the drawing once you post a story). We are bound to do this again in 2011, so stay tuned!

Take good care!

Rachel and Mary

Rachel and Mary (Kansas City, MO, 12-22-2010 10:21:27)

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO PARTICIPATED IN OUR 2010 POST TO WIN!

Reading these stories has been amazing! When we weren't crying, we were laughing.

Spending time with folks who have dementia is about as good as it gets for us. Learning about the experiences of others who are providing extraordinary care is right up there, too. THANK YOU for posting, of course. But, more importantly, THANK YOU FOR CARING.

Oh, and by the way. The winner is...ELLEN McBRIDE! Congratulations Ellen!

We wish you the very best this Holiday Season -
Rachel and Mary

Maureen Meyer (Nashville TN, 12-21-2010 19:48:50)

I spent the day in our Arbors unit in Smyrna TN and was delighted with the calm anticipation of the holidays. The building was decorated with handmade ornaments that the residents made with some help from the staff.

I interviewed a staff member and asked her to share some special insight. She told me of Margaret who had been so resistant to her shower that was offered in the evening and in the early morning. Misty offered to do her shower in the middle of the day and while she was bathing they started talking about memories. Misty learned that Margaret's husband had been an umpire for a professional team. Margaret shared so many memories and such pride while she talked of those days. Now they watch baseball on TV and have plans of taking her to some ball games next summer. Right now they are looking for a baseball ornament for her tree.

Gail McDowell (Colville, WA, 12-21-2010 14:53:22)

We had a lady resident at our facility who had very severe dementia. Although she was still up walking constantly in her merrywalker, she no longer was able to speak or respond to anyone. Her husband of many years came every single day to sit with her (or walk with her) and help her at lunchtime. One day we were having a special evening meal for family members who wished to come and share a meal with their loved one. It was a snowy, blowy day, and one of the nurses said to this man, "You really don't have to come back tonight. The weather is so bad, and you know we'll take good care of Carol. She probably won't even know you're here." He smiled at her and gently said, "But I'll know." And, of course, he came. Our staff had such admiration and respect for the love and faithfulness he showed his wife. What a great example!

Jackie Nelson (Colville, WA, 12-21-2010 14:40:04)

One of my favorite memories revolves around an outing we took this summer. We often take our residents out to a local campground for picnics where we roast hot dogs and marshmallows. We had a special resident named Pearl who regularly made us feel loved and appreciated. She would say, "What did I do to deserve you, Honey?" or "How come I got so lucky and you picked me to go with you?" She was in the habit of picking things up and stuffing them into her shirt. On this particular outing, we had just sat down at the picnic table when she yelled out, "Ouch!" and began pulling at her shirt. We couldn't figure out what was wrong until suddenly she reached into her shirt and pulled out three huge pinecones, stating the whole time, "How did these prickly peckers get in here?" We laughed til we cried, and that has become a favorite saying among the staff of the Special Care Unit.

Kareen King (Osage City, Kansas, 12-21-2010 10:39:25)

The following is an excerpt from my weblog, www.thegoldenexperience.com.

Just recently, while filling in for an Activity Director who's been on vacation, I was operating my typical way - trying to be all things to all people - a noble intention, but not always realistic. It's especially challenging to conduct a group activity while trying to address the variety of limitations, requests, and interruptions that typically present themselves in a skilled nursing facility.

After an hour and a half of facilitating a discussion about headline news, mid-term election outcomes, and brain exercises, I walked my weary body back to the office to do some documentation. Little did I know that a precious octogenarian lady who lives with dementia, had been following me down the hall in her wheelchair.

"You try too much for others. Let it go," she advised me as she entered my space. Her words were spoken with authority and lucidity, contrary to other times when her words take on nonsensical forms.

I looked into her loving eyes and acknowledged her insight. She was right.

"In your own way you're covering for what you're uncovering. You gotta change your policies," she added.

I'm still pondering her words. And I, for one, am glad she's still around.

Sarah Eckert (Greensburg, IN, 12-21-2010 09:37:17)

This year has been difficult for our family as we have watched Mom withdraw into herself even more. It is discouraging to try and visit with her because she doesn't talk. But after my husband and I attended your conference in Indianpolis, IN I was encourage by the ideas that you shared. I have since made a scrapbook for Mom with pictures of us three girls and our families. I used some old and some newer pictures. Now it's much easier to spark conversation with Mom as we are looking through the pages of the scrapbook. The Grandkids can even get involved and it always brings a smile to Mom's face.

Thank you so much for all you do! My sisters were unable to attend the conference with us so I would be super excited to share the DVD series with the whole family should I be lucky enough to win!

Blessings,
Sarah Eckert

Linda Flowers (Kenai, Alaska, 12-20-2010 16:36:23)

We started a member's advisory council at our day center. The member's have expressed an interest in doing community service projects. Some of their ideas have been to bake dog treats and donate them to the local animal shelters,help at the local food bank (the how, what, when still are being worked out), making baby quilts for the local hospital to give to new mother's to take their babies home in, and making wooden blocks for a preschool. Each person who wishes to particpate in the Volunteer Club is given a role, whether it is to pick the fabric for a portion of a quilt, cutting dog biscuits or simply rolling the dough, everyone feels useful. It just shows you that with the right kind of help and encouragement people with Alzheimer's can do anything their hearts desire.

Jayne (Richmond, VA, 12-20-2010 14:26:25)

Two touching moments where people helped took place this year that I want to share. One of the important activities I have tried to keep for my Mom is going to church each Sunday. As both her arthritis and memory problems have increased, this has become more and more difficult, especially since the church does not have a wheelchair ramp. Church members have been very kind about helping to get Mom on the chair lift, although getting into the chair is painful and riding the lift sometimes frightens her. After one especially difficult Sunday filled with both pain and confusion, as a kind member (who is a nurse) helped me put Mom on the chair lift to go home, Mom looked at her and another helping member and clearly said, "You are all God's children." Earlier in the summer at the end of an outdoor concert, I was having difficulty getting Mom's feet on the pedals of her wheelchair. A young woman with cerebal palsy who walked with a cane noticed my struggle, walked up to us, and helped me put her feet in place and said, "We disabled folks have to stick together."

sandyabbott (lynchburg,VA, 12-20-2010 11:58:13)

This is my favorite story of working with dementia patients during 2010.

During our initial interview to probe for history and current levels from the resident, I ask how far the res. went in school, and if you worked outside of the home?
This sweet little smiling lady stated it was about 2 miles to the school, but she didn't go often as she had to help her Mom at home with the kids, and, yes she worked outside the home. When asked what she did she stated she worked in the garden, tobacco field, barn, anywhere needed.

Now tell me who was the most confused of the two of us.
Hope you all have a very Merry Christmas, and a New Year filled with sweet little ladies and crotchity old men.

Ellen McBride (Ashland,MO, 12-18-2010 08:55:03)

Daughters were very attentive to their mother with Alzheimer's, coming 3-4 times per week, always attempting to engage their mother with stories of the life, love and laughter from their lifetimes. Dim recognition was all they were rewarded with for their efforts. They often left disheartened at the loss of their vibrant mother. One morning their mother stated that she wanted to call her friend because they had a card game planned and she wanted to know what everyone was bringing. She even remembered the phone number. The twinkle, smile and facial expression of the "old" mother had returned. I called both daughters and asked them both to come now to visit and within a short time they arrived. They were rewarded with smiles and hugs from their mother who called them by name. This time, their mother told them stories from the past, from their childhoods, from their happier times. Her daughters stayed all day and they glowed with joy. As they left that day they cried tears of joy because they had been given one day with their "old" mother again and then they cried tears of sadness because by the end of the day, the dementia had again stolen her from them. They said that they were so grateful that I had called because they had been given the gift of one day with their mother full of life.

Valda Garber-Weider (Crestwood Assisted Living, 12-17-2010 13:18:14)

For several years, a resident who lived on the secured Memory Care neighborhood challenged the nursing staff in many aspects of her care. Her restlessness was best relieved by walking and rearranging many items. Staff felt challenged by her inability to comprehend language and her inability to describe her pain. After the family made the decision to not treat known breast cancer, staff began the journey with her on hospice. As she became weaker, staff walked with her to ensure her safety. They became more attuned to her signals that she was in pain. She was able to walk until one week before she died. At the time of her death, her family could not be with her. Six staff members surround her bed, held her hands, assured her that she would not be left alone, read scripture to her, prayed with her and sang songs. After her death, the six staff members hugged each other, cried together, and realized that that the loss they each felt was directly related to the fact that each of them had become "family" to her. In spite of the challenges, staff learned to love and respect this woman. At the service to Memorialize her life, family stated, "The staff at Crestwood became family to our mother." I am excited and proud to be a part of a team that cares deeply enough to meet not only the physical, but also the emotional and spiritual needs of residents.

Wendy Vaughn (Rolling Fields in PA, 12-16-2010 15:03:19)

The Culinary Caregivers at Rolling Fields want to share a story about choices and the happiness that comes with having them! Rolling Fields is an Eden Alternative Eldercare Community located in NW PA. We make home for 180 Elders needing skilled, intermediate and dementia care. We’ve been bringing the Eden Alternative to life since 2002. Here is a favorite story from 2010 . . .

We have had a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables from our very own gardens this year. The elders bring these treats into our restaurant (aka Kallimos Café) and ask us to do different things with them. One elder in particular who wanted a tomato sandwich was Jean. The problem was, Jean can’t eat seeds. So for days Jean watched the elders around her enjoying fresh-picked, tomato sandwiches and she would try to eat other things like tomato soup to satisfy these desires. One day we decided to slice a tomato from the garden and rinse all the seeds out of it. We made it into a sandwich and gave it to Jean. She was so happy and her craving was so satisfied that she began to cry. We asked her if something was wrong and she said “these are tears of happiness”! This shows that it truly is the simple pleasures that make daily life here worth living!
Respectfully Shared,
Kebby and the Culinary Caregivers

Karen Jeffreys (Finger Lakes Center for L, 12-16-2010 13:11:47)

Isabel does not initiate conversation or articulate her needs but yells out with a coughing noise to get someones attention. One day while trying to distract her from yelling she handed Isabel a pencil and paper. She wrote, "Paulette you are beautiful and i enjoy your company. What plans have you for today. I shall be attending entertainment this afternoon. Yours truly, Isabel
Who knew? Now she is writing letters to her daughter!

Sandra Hoskins (Schilling Gardens Arbors, 12-16-2010 11:17:08)

The greatest moment I have had? There have been so many, I could not start to name one, I have had the honor of working with residents with Alzheimer’s and dementia for over 18 months now. I am the Program director of Schilling Gardens Arbors and I have the best job in the world. I get to work with a group of wonderful people that have blessed me more than I can every say. I have always been a person that needed to plan things out and if they got out of whack then I could not function.
Well these wonderful people have taught me to live in the moment. I no longer worry about little things that don’t even matter; I worry about grasping the moment and running with it. With this disease you lose so much, you lose memories, abilities to do things, but never every have I witnessed this disease taking someone’s spirit or soul. They have moments when that spirit and the true them comes out, and it is beautiful.
So I have to say I have more great moments that I can count and I am a very lucky person to be able to say that every day, my day is filled with beautiful moments by beautiful people.

Megan Reynolds (Alzheimer's Association, 12-16-2010 10:34:57)

My most memorable moment was during a class that I was teaching. This was a six week course for caregivers. There was a woman in the class that I had made it my own personal mission to reach. She had been through a number of our programs and could really tell you everything about the disease but she could not ever seem to put the facts into place in her life. i.e. she knew not to argue but did-a lot- and continued to be frustrated/embarassed when her husband continued to act the way that he did.
One day during the class I asked how the week had been and if there was anything that anyone wanted to share. This particular woman stood up and told the group about a situation that she had been in the past week. As she was telling us about it I began to worry a bit about what she was going to say about her handling of the events because I had seen her in action before.
To my great surprise her response to the situation was brilliant! She had finally "got it." This really made me a bit emotional so I asked her what had changed, why she responded the way that she did. She said that there was something that had been said, the way that it had been worded, that really hit home with her and helped her to see her husband differently. She said that once she was able to see him in a bit different light she was then able to respond to him in a different manner. Yeah!!

Janet Gard (Branson MO, 12-16-2010 10:27:04)

Part of my job as a director of a hospice is to provide inservices for area LTCF's on topics related to collaborative care. The most humbling and hilarious moment in my career happened in the middle of one such inservice.

I had been asked by my former employer to conduct that facilities annual hospice inservice. Of course I was thrilled to have the opportunity to "show off" my knowledge and new found skills to my former peers and colleagues. On the day of the inservice I was proud and pleased to see over 50 people in the audience. The first portion of the presentation went well with the exception of a few interruptions from "Ruthie" (one of the dementia residents)who wandered in out out of the room.

It is important to note that everyone in that room loved Ruthie and she was allowed to walk unrestrained for a couple of hours every day. Ruthie never talked directly to someone and most often seemed in her own world mumbling to herself.

As I was winding down my presentation getting ready to close I noticed that Ruthie was moving through the audience and coming straight for me. When she got to me she turned around,faced the audience, smiled, and clearly said "She doesn't have a clue what she is talking about" with that she patted me on the behind and walked off the stage. Needless to say the audience fell apart laughing hysterically and with one simple sentence my crediability was ruined.

Dawn Butler (Washington, MO, 12-16-2010 09:51:43)

I was working on an overnight shift after working all day, doing the "Oh my God I'm tired..." When a little lady came out of her room, this frail little 89 pound woman who can barely make sense when she speaks, looked at me with big brown eyes, and mumbled "I'm hungry." I asked what she wanted, due to being so tired, I did not think to offer her 2 or 3 choices, but she had no reply and just sat on the couch. I then woke up enough to realize I had done wrong. I put on the chef's hat in the kitchen, threw a towel over my arm and treated her like royalty, she had choices from a hard boiled egg, sandwich and ice cream. Her eyes sparkled and she looked at me and chose the ice cream. I sat with her looking at her with amazement as she mumbled to me things I could not understand. She "talked" to me for over an hour... When she was done with all the eats, she stood up, saluted me and hugged me so tight. I still tear up when I realize the loss that she could've felt if we hadn't taken the time to offer her choice and sit with her.

Judy (Valparaiso, IN, 12-16-2010 09:14:59)

A day I will never forget in 2010 was a day when I was helping turn over an apartment on our Memory Care unit and I was busy cleaning, washing sheets, etc. As I was walking fiercely by the dining room there were four ladies having a cup of coffee and chatting and one of the ladies stopped me and asked if I knew how to do a cartwheel. Mind you it has been a while but I knew these ladies really wanted me to try so I did a cartwheel, right there in the dining room and the ladies cheered and laughed for quite a while. Then I get back to work on the apartment and I was carrying a plastic shower curtain liner and another resident stopped me and was telling me how beautiful my wedding dress was, so I asked her if she wanted me to put it on and she was so excited that I offered. So I went into the closest room and put on that shower curtain liner and did a bride’s walk down the hallway. She was so excited that I put on my wedding dress just for her. In a matter of a half hour on our Memory Care unit I was doing cartwheels and wearing a shower curtain for a wedding dress and had ladies in tears they were so happy. I will never forget that day!!

David Kirchner (Rhode Island, 12-16-2010 09:11:43)

Living Through The Labrinth was a book I read that further inspired and help many to improve care and understanding of dementia both at work and on a personal level

Nicole (Crown Point, IN, 12-16-2010 08:49:03)

I work for a company that provides in home services for elderly and disabled individuals in an attempt to prevent nursing home placement. I have a client whose husband warms my heart. His wife has Dementia and the way that he cares for her is beyond words! It reaffirms my faith not only in people in general, but also in love. He is living his vow of "for better or worse."

Amber Siasoco (Cameron, MO, 12-16-2010 08:28:44)

I am a social worker for individuals with dementia. However, I also have a musical background. I regularly play my saxophone for the residents on my community at the nursing home. One of the residents, B., played the saxophone in her past. She would always come listen to me play, sitting in the front row, clapping and singing along. As time went on, I began to notice that she would become upset and tearful after every time I played, so I sat and visited with her. Come to find out, she believed the saxophone I was playing was hers, and I had stolen it from her. She stated, "I just want to know my horn is safe and with me." Well, my wheels started turning. I spoke to my administration, and they granted me permission to buy her a used saxophone. After a few hours of searching, I found one. I told the shop owner to hold it for me, and I would be there first thing in the morning. After picking up the saxophone the next day, I brought it to B's room. She opened the case and started laughing. I helped her put it together. She put the neck strap around her neck, held the horn to her, and stood up from her wheelchair. With tears streaming down her face, she stated,"This one's mine, it's the one." She then played a few notes and held it on her lap the rest of the day. This was the purest moment of joy I have ever witnessed, and I keep a picture of that moment in my office to remind me every day.

maryann (RichmondVA, 12-16-2010 08:20:36)

Thanks for this great opportunity to share comments. Edcon you do so much for everyone. Thanks you.
No stories to share but a wish for everyone for a peaceful and meaningful holiday season and a wonderful new year.

ANGIE (SALINA, 12-15-2010 18:07:17)

This last Saturday night our church youth and a few brave adult drivers teamed with our Parish Nurse Carolling and delivery of our "christmas boxes to many of our homebound congregents. On our 2nd stop (of 15) we stopped at Prebyterian Manor in the memory unit as we have 2 of "our family" there. We planned to sing just 2 songs then keep moving due to the many stops we needed to make-but when we started singing christmas carols everyone that was gathered in the community room was singing-in such beautiful voices it was very moving. One of the staff was in tears, but those who knew not who we were or why we were there sang 7 songs with us-and knew every word. What a beautiful thing. As we got "buzzed out of the unit and thanked- we explained to some of our younger kids that the people we just sang to had alzheimers disease--and one of the little girlssaid-what a cool thing that they sang every word with us. She was right. It made the other 13 very frigid stops all worth it!

Pat L. (Stewartsville. MO, 12-15-2010 17:57:21)

I had a sweet little lady with Alzheimers that loved dogs. She had a stroke and came back from the hospital totally unresponsive. She had not moved so much as an eyelash in days. I layed a little Yorkie on her chest and placed her hand on it. She focused her eyes on the dog and her lips moved ever so faintly either to smile or speak. The nurse walked into the room just at that moment and we both had tears in our eyes!

Rachel (Kansas City, MO, 12-15-2010 16:44:16)

Happy Holidays!!!

In the spirit of the season, we thought it would be nice to spread a little cheer and spark a little enthusiasm.

Answer the following question on this bulletin board and your name will automatically be entered to win a copy of our 6 disc DVD set, The Coin's Other Side (valued at $385) and a handmade Props Bag!

What is your favorite, most uplifting story from 2010 relating to your work or interactions with someone who has dementia?

This drawing is limited to one entry per person...though multiple people from the same organization are welcome to submit. You have from now until Wednesday, December 22nd at 9am (central standard time) to post your story. That morning we will draw the winner and ship the prize.

We hope you will rally carers to reflect and share beautiful memories from 2010!

Thanks so much!

Rachel and Mary

Lucia Roe (Shawnee, KS, 09-10-2010 12:50:13)

Rachel,
I put the 1/2 title of this book on my comment form at the Kansas City workshop, below is the complete information. This book is priceless, it saddens me that my husbands family didn't read it "before" the crisis, they could have been one of the many case studies. I have purchased a copy and have already used it for reference in the care management of my own parents.

“They’re Your Parent, Too: How Siblings Can Survive Their Parents’ Aging Without Driving Each Other Crazy,” by Francine Russo


Thank you for a very informative day, and as soon as my mind stops reeling with great information I hope to begin putting it into use to assist our family as well as others in this journey.



Respectfully,

Lucia Roe

ps:This past weekend while visiting my mother-in-law for lunch at the facility where she lives I had an opportunity to assist another resident who was having difficulty enjoying her sandwich. Teepa's suggestions of placing your hand under the persons in need was like "magic". One try and my friend got the hang of picking up and eating the sandwich with her hands! How simple, yet profound!

pam richmond (Columbia, MO, 08-23-2010 11:22:33)

I enjoyed the whole day, which was packed with wonderful practical information. Teppa is just awesome and I believe a whole lot of people with dementia are benefiting this week from the caregivers that attended the conference.

Bless all of you for the wonderful work you do!

Janie Bonham (Columbia, MO, 08-21-2010 20:00:08)

Mary and Rachel, What a wonderful day! Your hospitality made it feel like I have known you for ages. The conference was great! I have so much information to share with families as well as my opportunities to teach professionals and consumers. Blessings to you both and your families.

Tony Sexton (Kansas City, 02-25-2010 12:11:53)

It has been a couple years since we had the opportunity of being a part of Mary and Rachel’s programs, and we recommend their services and would encourage any person remotely interested in Long-Term Care to avail themselves to this resource.

I have spent twenty-three years both as a volunteer and as an employee in Long-Term care, and have recently began writing some articles on Culture Change in our facilities. Please take a few minutes at the link below and leave me some feedback/comments. It would be appreciated!

http://midwestsenioradvoc acy.blogspot.com/

Sincerely,
Tony Sexton
senioradvocacy@yahoo.com

Jan Huegerich (Exira, Iowa, 10-01-2009 09:37:56)

I so enjoyed your sessions at the IHCA Convention, we have a 17 bed unit and all the education I have been to relates to the early stages, our people are late mid stage. Thank you for the great ideas. Keep up spreading the word, you guys are AWESOME!!!!!

Rachel Kail (Pelham, Alabama, 07-23-2009 17:41:10)

Our thanks to everyone with the Middle Alabama Area Agency on Aging for putting on a great conference today in Pelham!!! The lunch was superb (YEAH FOR THE ROLLS!), conversation dynamic and people fantastic...we appreciated the opportunity to learn from everyone present. One book recommended that I will find and read soon is DYING WELL -- and if you haven't yet read ANOTHER COUNTRY, please do!

Kiessa Webster (Minnesota, USA, 05-14-2009 22:36:32)

Obviously memory is a tricky thing with Alzheimer's or dementia, but so much of our identity, pride and comfort come from aspects of our lives that occured in the past. Often those with memory loss retain connections to aspects of their history and their family members from the memories they do maintain. I am a social worker who creates therapeutic life history books to help with this. Please visit me: http://www.explorebeautifullife.com/types-of-books/remini scing/

Rachel Kail (Lexington, KY, 04-20-2009 16:01:39)

If you find yourself in Lexington, KY, make sure to call ahead and volunteer at the Best Friends Day Care (859-266-5283) located in the Second Presbyterian Church on Main Street. What an amazing environment of compassionate care!!! Today we had the pleasure of spending time with Virginia Bell (author of The Best Friends Approach), Bobby Potts (the Volunteer Coordinator for the center's nearly 1:1 carer to elder ratio) as well as the staff, volunteers and elders. Our thanks to everyone who made us feel so included and welcomed! [Lisa, thank you for your post below, by the way...]

Lisa Smith (Dothan AL, 04-17-2009 11:03:27)

I attended the workshop on "Building an Active Living Environment for Those with Alzheimer's Disease" in Dothan on March 11th. Although my father's condition was fast deteriorating, I found renewed hope and some wonderful ideas dor even this stage. I can't say what this meant to me and I will remember your kindness.
Lisa

Rachel (Jacksonville, FL, 03-25-2009 17:21:23)

We just want to say thank you to the staff and family members of Southlake Nursing and Rehabilitation Center in Jacksonville, FL, for a wonderful experience the last two days. The family and community program last night went by in a flash and today (with direct care providers) was no different. It was a pleasure meeting you all...and we appreciate the opportunity to learn from you, as well. Take great care and please keep in touch!

Rachel Kail (Kansas City, MO, 12-15-2008 09:42:53)

We want to make sure this message gets posted all throughout our website, but currently AppleScraps jewelry has a limited edition series of necklaces available for purchase. Edcon teamed up with Amy Cecil (founder and artisan of AppleScraps) to create pendants for engaging those with dementia in meaningful, generational discussion. For those who have attended our program and understand what we mean when we refer to "trigger/flash," ; these are the perfect, small, portable tools for immediately connecting with someone who has dementia and triggering a memory flash. One of the things we have found is how comforting it is as a caregiver to not go into an interaction empty handed. A "prop" allows us a quick and easy way to relate to a person. If interested in viewing or purchasing one of the limited edition 10 designs for engaging those in your care, go to www.applescraps.com/html/edcon.html

Tina Barry (Buffalo, NY, 10-01-2008 09:46:46)

I attended the Connections Seminar in Buffalo, NY on September 23, 2008, and have been singing praises for your presentation. You touched me, like no other speakers have ever been able to in my 35+ years of nursing. The CNA's which I brought with me to your presentation, are excited and sharing the information that they learned. We are amazed at the little tigger/flash moments we are able to create on a daily basis with our residents, and we are having so much fun learning.
I hope to be able to attend one of your presentations again in the future.
Tina

Pamela Mackay (Glasgow, Scotland, 07-21-2008 08:25:18)

I was priviledged to attend a workshop by Mary and Rachel when they participated in the Stirling University (Scotland) International Conference in 2007, I have never been so moved and inspired by any presentation I have attended in my many years of working in dementia Care.

When my own organisation CrossReach decided to run a dementia conference this year in April, the first people I wanted to bring over were Mary and Rachel. I contacted them at the end of 2007 and they coundn't have been more helpful.

The provided a workshop at our conference as well as being one of our key note speakers.
The feed back from the 200 delegates was that Mary and Rachel were the highlight of the conference.

They also provided training in our six specialised dementia units and their interaction with the older adults (Elders) in our care was exceptional. The staff found their training inspirational and it has changed many thoughts on what communication is possible with people who have dementia, even in the later stages.

If you want to learn how to deliver care, with love, understanding, compassion and dignity from the people who know best (people with dementia and the loved ones who care for them) then you MUST attend one of Rachels and Mary's presentations or training sessions.

I will never forget their video clips, and we hope to work again with them in the near future.

The Creativity Connection (Kansas City, MO, 11-09-2007 10:06:00)

The perfect workshop takes such planning, knowledge of the audience and attention to detail.

The perfect workshop includes meaningful information, delivered in an interesting and sometimes entertaining way, with a multi-sensory approach and with an interactive flavor.

The perfect workshop includes a comfortable space and delicious food.

The workshop allows you to express yourself and to connect with others.

The perfect workshop is like a mini-retreat where you learned something you can instantly use in your everyday life.

We just attended the perfect workshop on November 2nd, hosted by Rachel Kail, Mary Sharp and their amazing team. We left feeling connected, inspired and energized. We left looking forward to their next workshop.

Deborah Shouse and Ron Zoglin
Speakers and storytellers, authors of Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver's Journey

Kathy Eisman (Carondelet Manor KCMO, 11-05-2007 10:46:39)

We attended your conference on November 2, on the Beauty of Dementia. What a wonderful conference! We gathered so much information, that we can't wait to share it with the rest of our staff!
It was so nice that you shared your personal family times with all of us. It felt like we got to know your Mom just as well as you knew her! What a delighful lady!
Thank you again for having such a Great conference! I will pass it along to other caregivers so that they can experience a great and enthusiastic day! Thanks again!
Kathy Eisman, Activity Director Carondelet Manor, KCMO

Erin Garlinghouse (Butte, MT, 10-28-2007 18:22:59)

Words do little justice to the presentation that these 2 woderful womyn made in Gt.Falls,MT at out state Alzheimer's Conference. I have not had the oppertunity to use my clthes pin, but I will tomorrow! I so look forward to bringing them to Butte for a training soon! To those of you who have not been with them for a day or more, don't miss the oppertunity for yourself and your loved ones!
God's Speed and Protection
Erin

Debbie Michalik (Missoula, Montana, 10-26-2007 07:05:15)

I just returned from a conference in Great Falls where Mary and Rachel spent an entire day that flew by totally too fast inspiring a roomful of people to see what folks with dementia can still do. I know this firsthand as I plan activities for these wonderful "elders" - I love and will steal that new term!! However, we were all given a clothespin at the end and encouraged to not go back and do the same old thing. So my next day back I entered memory care with a new enthusiasm and desire to try something new. I approached a male "elder" who almost never comes to an activity and we talked and I smiled and he stayed the entire morning!! Another male "elder" who I almost never approach was lying in bed and I heard his radio alarm going off. I went into the room, turned it off, and spoke to him. I touched his hand and he mentioned that his skin was dry. On his nightstand was a bottle of lotion, so I asked him if I could rub some on his hands and arms. He nodded and as I rubbed that lotion in, he was saying with closed eyes, "That feels so good". Thank you for the clothespin - I am going to put it on my desk and look at it everyday and wonder "what if I tried ...."

Michelle Helton (Marshalltown, IA, 06-13-2007 09:47:10)

I had the wonderful opportunity to attend "The Coin's Other Side" conference in Des Moines. I have to say first of all that Rachel and Mary did a fantastic job. They really are wonderful people with a lot of great information. The conference was great! I participated in part of the activity showing the difference between positive and negative re-inforcement, and what fun it was! If ever given the opportunity to see these two in action, I say go for it! It is definately worth the time.
By the way, Rachel, I loved the Rindercella story!

Tony & Dawn Sexton (Maywood Terrace Living Ce, 11-18-2006 12:49:04)

My husband and I had the privilege of attending Mary and Rachel's "The Coin's Other Side" conference this week, and we both were very impressed. We came away with great ideas and a larger overall perspective on caring for our residents. I certainly recommend this mother and daughter team. You, your staff and your residents lives will be enriched. And I look forward to sponsoring an event in my facility soon!

Sincerely,
Dawn Sexton
Administrator
Maywood Terrace Living Center, Independence Missouri

Rachel (Kansas City, 06-14-2006 09:06:36)

For those of you who don't know about StoryCorps, you may find looking into worthwhile! Basically, it's a not-for-profit organization that captures and documents the stories of every day people from all over the nation. They come to town in an RV equipped to audio-record interviews between two people...and when you leave the 'recording studio' you receive a copy of the interview, as does the Library of Congress (for future generations to know more about life in the early 2000's). For more information visit www.storycorps.net or simply start your own process of documenting life stories!

Jerry (kansas City, 05-09-2006 14:33:15)

Attended your seminar last year and thought it was great and very informative. Would like to be added to your mailing list so I could be kept up to date on future seminars.

Jerry

e-mail Jgibbs@mohome.org

Jerry Gibbs
Masonic Home of Missouri
12101 E. Bannister Rd.
Kansas City, MO 64138

Megan (St. Louis, MO, 04-08-2006 04:04:08)

Some thoughts from a great evening........

I am a student completing my practicum at the Alzheimer's Association St. Louis chapter and I just attended lighting the way with memorable moments in caregiving on April 6, 2006. May I say, this group is moving, inspirational, and passionate! I myself am not a caregiver to anyone that has memory loss. I was motivated and had a sence of encouragement after listening to the presenters. Many thanks for touching my life. I laughed, I cried, and most importantly learned a great deal about interacting and understanding individuals with memory loss and the amazing people that care for them. I will be using some of the depositing techniques today!

Many thanks, Megan Macalady, MSW Student

Rachel Kail (KC, MO, 03-16-2006 12:08:33)

I've been doing some research online and came across an excellent website created by the University of Florida and the Central & North Florida Chapter of the Alzheimer's Association, www.AlzOnline.net. Great info resource and online support group!

Rachel Kail (Kansas City, MO, 03-14-2006 20:29:35)

Today my mother and I drove to Jeff City for the Alz. Association Memory Day held in our state capital. I played piano as people honored their loved ones and posted photos onto a MO state map. Beautiful ceremony and gorgeous day here in the Midwest.

Rachel Kail (Kansas City, MO, 03-14-2006 20:25:51)

Recently, our website was updated with this newer version of the bulletin board. Unfortunately, all old postings were deleted... but PLEASE feel free to re-post any information or thoughts you would like to share.